1. You hear a song from the 70's on the radio. You:

Say "this is real music!" Turn it up, because music sounds better loud Switch to EDM and crank the bass

2. Your back hurts because:

"That's what backs do" You didn't lift with your legs You squatted 300 lbs today

3. Friday night plans:

Netflix Dinner and a movie Romantic dinner + hanky panky

4. The minimum it takes to get excited about something:

A shiny new trash can A new laptop Concert tickets

5. Standing up:

Requires strategy and grunting Is easy peasy I spring up like a boxer who just heard the bell

6. You walk into a room and forget why:

Blame the dog. "Bad dog!" Make up a new reason to be in the room Remember after a few momentss

7. Loud party:

Cover ears and leave right away Stay for a bit, and at least get some free food Jump on the dance floor and start freestyling

8. Check weather forecast:

Every few hours Once a day, usually in the morning Never...life should have surprises

9. Phone fonts:

The larger, the better! Trying to cope with the normal size You can change those?

10. When someone complains about their health:

You immediately try to top them with your complaints Listen politely, but try to change the subject away from their colonoscopy story Run away screaming

Determine your "biological" age!